hey tumblr when are you going to make personifications of ups and fedex to ship
you were saying
now where’s the fanfic?
FedEx and UPS lay together, enjoying the warmth of each other’s bodies.
“I sure hope this lasts longer than 5 to 7 business days” UPS thought as he laid his head against FedEx’s shoulder.
“But what if we get caught?” asked FedEx, resting his head on UPS’ chest. “We won’t” UPS assured him. “But we’ve been doing this for 8 days now! They must know something has hap-” FedEx started, but he was cut off by a firm kiss.
“You’re forgetting that today is Sunday. we don’t deliver on weekends, so we still have two days together.” UPS said, smiling slyly. FedEx stared into UPS’ eyes. ‘Two days,’ FedEx thought, ‘Two whole days left.’
“I know how we can make ample use of our time,” said FedEx, kissing UPS’ neck gently. “And we can start right now.” he finished. FedEx kissed UPS’ neck once more before moving to his collar bones. He continued down UPS’ abdomen, pausing every so often.
Beneath the sheet, FedEx could feel…
JFC tumblr, for a second I thought I couldn’t love you anymore, then you pull something like this.
Free shipping for all
I am so done with this website
Dirty Old Man:
Aloof Big Brother:
High School Student with a Double Life:
The Hero’s Bitches:
White-Haired Pretty Boy:
The Useless Main Character:
The Cutest Bitch You’ll Ever Meet:
The Too-Talented-For-Their-Own-Good Main Character:
Of course Kira gets his own little sub catergory
I WAS GOING TO PUT THIS IN THE TAGS, BUT HOLY SHIT I HAVE JUST SEEN THE METAPHOR!!
There was a calm moment of “…Wait. Did she just metaphorically pick up masculinity and leave femininity behind in its place?” And I was impressed with that symbolism.
But then the metaphor got better. Because here, Mulan is swapping one for the other. Yet, by the end, when she comes home at the end, her father tucks the flower behind her ear and then her man shows up with the helmet— BECAUSE MULAN IS AWESOME AND KICK ASS AND SHE HAS BOTH FEMININITY AND MASCULINITY AND BEING COMPLETELY ONE OR THE OTHER TOTALLY DOESN’T SUIT HER.
ALSO, at the end of the movie, to defeat Shan Yu, she uses the fan, a feminine symbol to wrench the sword, a masculine symbol, form his hands and save the day. :)
And then Mushu shows up out of nowhere and blows him up with a rocket the size of Texas
There has never been a better instance for that gif…